I'm about to get really real with you guys. This is gonna be deep. Get ready.
Dear person that I wish I could be,
I know that you live inside of me somewhere, youre just like too scared to ever come out. I wish that I could be a better Christian. I wish that I could learn to fully trust God and have complete faith in Him. This is really hard for me because I like to be in control all the time. I don't like crying because I cant control it. I dont like not knowing whats gonna happen because I like to be in control. I need to learn that I am not in control of my life. God is. He knows whats best for me and he knows what I am going to do before I even do it. I need to learn to trust him more. I also wish that I could be more godly. I want my actions to reflect the fact that I am a Christian. I want people to think positively of me. I want to honor God in a way that is pleasing to him, not a way that is pleasing to me. I want to learn to love everyone and not talk badly about others. One of my favorite verses that I recently heard my preacher say is:
"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness." -1 John 2:9
This verse is really powerful to me. How can we claim to be Christians, but still hate on other people? That is not what Jesus calls us to do. He calls us to love your neighbor like you love yourself. I really beleive that everyone is beautiful on the inside and I try my beset everyday to see it in everyone I meet. But sometimes I struggle with this and I make fun of people or put them down when I shouldnt.
Last night I went and saw this movie called "Beware of Christians". It was about four college guys that went around the world asking people about different topics concerning Chrisitanity. It was such a good movie and such an eye opener. It made me realize that there are so many people in this world who do not know Christ. We live in this little bubble of America where our Constitution and other documents are centered around scripture from the Bible. I live in an even bigger bubble at Texas CHRISTIAN University. I just assume that everyone around me knows Jesus and am so unaware that there are so many people in different countries who have no idea about Christ. The movie was so inspiring and it made me want to go all over the world and tell people about God. Maybe I will one of these days. I have always wanted too, but I am to afraid that my fear will overcome my determination in situations like that.
Another thing that I struggle with especially being a Christian is materialism. I want to have the nicest clothes, the coolest car, the newest phone, and the cutest shoes. I want more, more, more all the time. Our existence on this earth is not so that we can have all of these things. God gave us everthing that we own. Without him, we would have nothing. I think people get so wrapped up in the media and what everyone else has that they forget what is really important in life. I know that I have definitely gone through this alot. You want to have the nicest stuff to fit in. to be like everyone else. Well Christians were not born to fit it. We are called to stand out and stand up for Jesus. Another good verse that goes along with this is 1 John 2:15-17 which says: "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." Whoever does the will of God lives forever. Not whoever drives the fanciest car. Or whoever makes the most money. Whoever does the will of God lives forever. Wrap your mind around that.
The person that I wish to be is a better Christian.
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