Its 4 in the morning

Ive been up since 9:00. Most of my day consisted of me sitting in the library studying for my first biology exam tomorrow. You would think all of that studying would make me tired. Nope. Just the opposite is happening. I cant stop studying. When we left the library at 2:00 a.m., I was sad to be leaving. Thats just weird. Who would rather be studying than sleeping? Apparently me.
Now I'm laying in my bed and instead of wanting to sleep, I am having all these urges to do random things. Such as:

• yoga (which I don't even know how to legitly do)
• run. run fast and for a long time until I cannot walk anymore.
• get a back massage
• study more.
• try on clothes in my closet
• listen to Sia "Breathe Me" on repeat
• do the laundry

Basically right now I am having all these weird, random desires to do anything but sleep. I dont even feel tired and I only got like four hours of sleep last night. What the heck.

In honor of September 11

Everyone I have talked too has remembered exactly where they were on that day. I was in Mrs. Holz's class in fourth grade. We had just finished doing our warm up problems that we do every morning when the principal came on over the intercom and told all the teachers to turn on the news on the tv. Mrs. Holz did, and we were all confused when the screen was filled with live video of big buildings burning. Of course none of us had any idea what was going on and all the teachers were running around in the hallway talking to each other. I remember sitting in my desk and staring at the screen. Mrs. Holz's phone kept ringing off the hook and she would answer and we would all stare at her in silence just waiting for an explanation. But she gave none. After a few minutes, the principal came back on the intercom and explained that there had been a terrorist attack. A class full of nine and ten year olds had no idea what that meant and Mrs. Holz did her best to explain.
A bunch of parents came in got their kids that day and it was hard to continue with class as normal. I remember walking down the hall and we passed another class that had half the kids in it. My mom didn't come early to get me but I remember getting home and sitting on the couch with her watching the news. She asked me if I knew what happened. I said yes that planes had flown into the towers and that bad guys did it.
As I have gotten older, I have come to understand more that happened about that day. The question I most often find myself thinking is why? Why would terrorists hijack a plane and crash it into one of the tallest buildings in New York City?  Why would they end the lives of so many innocent people? How could you be so heartless to leave families without their loved ones? For many Americans, these are questions that will never be answered, that have reasons that we will never fully understand.

 

Being a Christian, I cant help but think why would God let this happen? How could God let thousands of innocent people die from such an unkind act. If God is who he says he is, then why didn't he stop this? That leads me to my next point. If God is so good, then why is our world filled with so much evil? The answer is unknown. What we do know is that God is greater than evil. An act that was probably supposed to tear our country apart, brought us so much closer together. After 9/11, it didn't matter if you were a democrat, republican, white, black, or brown; because we were all one nation under God. You watched as a terrible attack happened on your own soil, and all of a sudden, it didn't matter that your neighbor was as far to the left as you were to the right. Because you had both experienced the same thing. Our country started coming together. People cried together, worshipped together, mourned together. The United States became one nation under God.

God didn't "let" this happen. He had no control over this situation. Evil acts have absolutely nothing to do with God because he is only associated with good things. September 11 was not God's fault. You cannot blame God for allowing this to happen. You can blame the hearts of the terrorists who did not know God. Even when bad things happen, God shows up. He finds a way to put a comforting hand on the hurting. A few days after September 11, he let the United States know that he was looking after us when this was found amidst all the debris.

It is no coincidence that this huge metal beam was standing up higher than all of the rest of the debris around it. God brought people together on this day, he helped people find him and become Christians, and he silently made a promise to us that he was watching over us. It makes me so sad to think about all the families that lost their loved ones that day.I still do not understand what fully happened on that day or any of the days that followed. What I do know, is that it brought our country together and that we will never forget.

9/11/01

It's Thirsty Thursday

and that means that everyone is going out tonight.
From my room on the third floor of my building, I can hear girls shrieking, horns honking, and heels tapping along the sidewalk outside my window. And it's only 10:35.
Pretty sure that my whole floor is full of big time partiers, stuck up frat boys, and sassy so-rawr-ity girls. It constantly smells like weed in my hallway. Which is disgusting.

About 20 minutes ago, I heard loud knocking on our door. I wasn't going to get up and answer it because I wasn't expecting anybody. Apparently none of my roommates were either so we all just stayed in our rooms. Then, my roomie Virginia was walking by the front door and heard something so she looked out the peephole. Two girls with plastic red cups were walking by and one of them picked up our door mat and threw it down the hall. So my awesome roommate who witnessed this via peephole, opened the door and goes "Thanks for that" at those stupid girls. The girls could care less because they just turned around and gave Virginia a dirty look before continuing to walk down the hall off to whatever place they are going to get drunk.

So when Virginia came in and told me this I was just like what the heck. Like how could  someone just be so rude and careless to mess with property that does not belong to them. I had to deal with crazy drunk girls last year, and do not wish to do it anymore. I was just happy that Virginia was there to open the door and tell them what's up. If it was me, I probably would've picked up our mat and threw it at them.
As you can probably tell, rude people are not my favorite. And I could write forever about this subject, but I will stop there for now. You have to watch the video below though. It is hilarious. Happy thirsty Thursday friends.

Fetch.

If you really knew me...

You would know that...

• it is impossible for me to sit still.
• my dog is like my baby.
• I don't like rules and I do not do well with authority.
• I am extremely claustrophobic.
• my biggest fear is losing the people I love.
• shopping and Chick Fil A can boost my mood in in instant.
• my dream is to help women and girls overcome their issues.
• I love being around people.
• I have zero athletic ability.
• Colt McCoy is my dream boy.
• rude people make me angry.
• my family means the world to me.
• I have an anxiety disorder.
• I have the craziest, most realistic dreams ever.
• writing is the only thing I am good at. I've only ever showed two people my writings.
• I still believe in morals and values.
• hot natured does not even begin to describe me.
• feet scare me. they are disgusting.
• I paint my nails based on my mood.
• I don't eat beef.
• If I forget to take my ADHD meds, I will literally want to sleep all day and have no motivation.
• I tend to be pessimistic.
• Talking in front of a bunch of people makes me nervous.
• I hate how short I am.
• my closet is color coded.
• Sweet tea is like my drug.
• I over analyze everything.
• I am not embarrassed to tell you anything.
• God didn't give me patience.
• I want a love like Nathan and Haley.
• I used to want to be a songwriter.
• My best friend is my cousin. My second best friend is a boy. My third best friend has a unique name.
• there are only two people who have the ability to make my emotions show despite my efforts to conceal them.
• I am obsessed with all things colorful.

Sophomore year is finally here.

Okay so I have not been blogging regularly. And I haven't blogged in like a month. Super sad. Summer was way too busy, and I cannot believe it is already over. So now I am back at TCU and it is awesome. I definitely missed this city. Living in Ponder where you have to drive at least 20 minutes to get to anything was just totally not my style. I'm glad to be back in the Fort and have Fuzzy's right across the street from me and Target five miles down the road.
The best thing about being back in the Fort is definitely my new apartment. Last year I loved in a hole that they called a dorm. My apartment feels like a mansion compared to that. I have three roommates and we all have our own rooms, bathrooms, and closets. We also have a living room, kitchen, and washer/dryer. We absolutely love it. I love cooking my own meals and taking a shower without wearing shower shoes.
Of course coming back I was really nervous. Last year was so difficult and coming back I was scared that I would feel the same was as last year. It has been barely a week, but so far I have not had any breakdowns and everything is going well. So cheers to that :)
That's all I got for now. I will write more about college life later.

because I am obsessed with Pinterest

I totally do thisss ^

I want this house ^

It Gets Better.

Have you heard of the It Gets Better Project? A man named Dan Savage made a video with his partner and posted it on Youtube hoping to help stop the hate crimes and bullying against homosexuals and to help the gays and lesbians to know that it gets better. This video launched the "It Gets Better Project". It Gets Better is now a website where you can go for support. You can watch other LGBT's videos of how their life has gotten better since they came out. You can also take the pledge to promise that you will not bully others just because of their sexuality. You pledge to help the LGBT community know that it gets better as time goes on.

I watched a few of the videos and my mindset was instantly changed. I could not believe that people could be so cruel to a person that they would physically and emotionally harm them just because they are different. It is not right to bully people, to tie them to a tree and throw rocks at them, or run through the arms of a gay couple holding hands. Just because they are gay, it does not make them any less human than you. Just because they are different than you does not give you the right to do or say unkind things to them. They have feelings too.

Let me just say that I do not really believe in being gay. I do believe that people are people, whether gay or straight, and they should not be treated differently for being who they are or want to be. I do not have a personal problem with gay people. My problem lies on the spiritual side of it all, but that is a different story and I haven't quite figured that one out yet. Innocent people should not be teased or beaten to death because they are gay. Gay people should not feel like they have to commit suicide in order to escape all the negativity they deal with. Death is not the answer. Be kind to the LGBT's even if you do not agree with their decisions. Even if you have a problem with it, keep it to yourself. Is saying one mean comment really worth the emotional pain you could cause that person?

Alot of people say stuff like "I'm a Christian, and we do not believe in being gay". Well I'm a Christian and pretty sure it says in the Bible to love your neighbor as yourself. Love EVERYBODY. Love them even if they are black, gay, Muslim, elderly, lesbian, Mexican, white, or go to OU. You are called to love everyone. So as a Christian, you definitely should not be one to tease or bully a gay person. You should be the one to love them and be there for them. That is what a real Christian would do.

Remind your friends not to make fun of any LGBT and stick up for those being bullied. Sign the It Gets Better pledge to let others know that it gets better. No one deserves to be harassed or put to death just for being different.