broken.

Life can be crazy sometimes. It's like it is just tempting you to see what it can throw at you next. Which road are you going to go down and how far will you go before you fall of the edge. You are being pushed and pulled in every single direction. Then you are going along just fine, when all of a sudden there are a million speed bumps in your way. And then its like, well how much more of this can I really take. How much can I handle being thrown at me, while I'm trying to do everything that needs to be done, while also trying to stay on the right road.

You can tell yourself that you can do it. You can handle everything that is thrown at you with a huge smile on your face. But you can only be so positive and so strong for so long before you start to break.

and when that happens, there's no turning back.

You can think all of the positive thoughts that you want too. You can smile and tell yourself that today will be a good day, because you will make it a good day. You can wear your favorite shirt. You can listen to your favorite song on repeat. You can eat lots of chocolate.

But none of that matters after you're already broken. because things that are broken require healing.

and healing takes time, which can be frustrating, which can make you upset, which puts you in a bad mood.

and at that point, it really does not matter how many times you smile at yourself through the tears in the mirror. It doesn't matter how many people you surround yourself with just so you do not have to be alone with your thoughts.

Because at that point, you are broken. Broken things require repairs. and the repair is something that you do not know how to do. After you have already tried so hard, prayed so much, been so optimistic; once you're broken, you will be broken for awhile.

Being broken doesn't mean that you have given up. It simply means that you have realized your life is beyond your own repair. That means that you need to call in the big dog.

Just like you call an electrician when the light wont turn on, or the plumber when your toilet wont flush; you call God when your life is a wreck.

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one. The second step is getting rid of your pride and asking for help. When you are broken, ask for help to be fixed, so that the the big man upstairs can come in and do the repair.
Let go, & let God.