Defining Love.

What is love?If I randomly came up to you one day and asked you this question and gave you five seconds to answer, what would you say? Would you try and define it, or describe it, or would you say its a feeling, or an action? Would you think about love in terms of romance or friendship? Would you think of an object or thing that you are really passionate about?

I feel like there is no way to really define love. Love encompasses so many things, and means something different to everyone. The term love has been skewed over time, to where the actual definition has no meaning to anyone these days. Love is used to describe how you feel about everything. You love monkeys. You love chocolate chip ice cream. You love to read. You love basketball. You love the color pink. You love all of these things. But can that really be described as love? Love is an emotional feeling, involving a relationship between people. You love cookies. But do those cookies love you? I don't think so. The term love is just thrown around conversations all the time, so its no wonder that people are having problems in their relationships. You love those cookies. Those cookies don't love you. You love your boyfriend. He doesn't love you. You get upset. Why? You weren't upset that those cookies that you loved didn't love you back, so why are you upset about your boyfriend not loving you. I know that this is silly because obviously cookies and people are very different. All that to say this. The L word has been thrown around so much, that I think everybody forgot the true meaning of love.

I think that the main reason people label love with such a negative attitude, is because that love is portrayed so poorly in our everyday world, than it is in actual reality. You have grown up watching love stories. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, the Little Mermaid. All the characters in these fairytales ended up with their prince charming and lived happily ever after. So you grow up believing in love. You think that any minute your soulmate is going to ride up on a white horse (or maybe a Ford Mustang?), sweep you off your feet, and you two will live happily ever after. If only it were that easy.

This image of meeting someone and living happily ever after is implanted in our heads so early in life, that it is the only thing we know and so we believe it. As we grow up, we still see movies that mask that exact sequence with maybe a few more problems than Cinderella had. But even with their problems, they always end up together in the end. And it is always such a beautiful love story, that we cant help but dream about it happening to us. 

When we are finally old enough to engage in real romantic relationships (not like middle school dating where you are too scared to talk to the other person), everything is great at first. You are in a relationship and you are having so much fun. Everything is new and exciting and knowing that someone cares for you is an amazing feeling. But then your significant other lies to you. Or stands you up on your date night. Now what do you do? Cinderella did not have this problem. This is not the way it is supposed to go. Of course you have no idea how to solve the problem because you just believe that in the end it is going to be okay because you will live happily ever after.

See the problem with this? We are so consumed by the idea that love is perfect. We have this misconception that relationships are full of happiness, roses, and hugs all the time. And there is nothing wrong with that, but it is not practical to believe that you will never argue or have a fight. So when that time comes in the relationship, people leave. They dont know how to solve the problem, so instead they walk away from it. Then all the love-hating starts. You know like when girls sit around and talk about how much they hate boys and how stupid they are and how there is no such thing as true love. Do you really think that talking negatively about love is a good idea? All that does is make you actually believe it. So now you dont believe in love and are confused when all your relationships fail. How are you going to truly love someone if you still have all these misconceptions about love?

Alot of my friends are having this problem right now. They have had guys come and go in their life and when their relationships didnt turn out quite like they planned, they automatically go into the love-doesnt-exist-phase. The worst thing is when my friends doubt themselves and start wondering what was wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with you. Youre beautiful. The problem lies beneath the surface. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the perception of love you have accumulated growing up. Dont blame love. Love is a beautiful thing. When you find your prince charming and do live happily ever after, you will be so glad that you did not give up on love.

So what is love?
The first thing that comes to my mind is my favorite verses. 1 Chorinthians 13:1-13. This verse is the key to successful relationships. If you have all of the principles listed, I can almost guarantee that you will have a healthy relationship. God is love. He loves you so much that he sent his son to die for you. That is love.

Examples of love in my life the past week are:

• calling a friend because youre upset, and her coming over at midnight to talk to you. no questions asked.
• a 2 year old crawling in your lap with a book in hand, and smile on their face.
• spilling dr pepper all over yourself, and your friend immediately going to get paper towels for you.
• 3 minute phone calls in the middle of the day, just to hear your voice.
• hugs from your roomies, just because.

Don't give up on love.

God did not give up on you.

<3