School's out for summer!

I cannot believe I have completed my first year of college. It seems like just a few days ago when I was moving into the tiny little hole that would be my home for the next nine months. I swear it was just yesterday when I went to my first TCU football game and took notes as a freshman in college on my first day of school. This year went by sooo fast. Let's rewind and relive my freshman expereince.


So excited to be accepted!

I was so excited to come to TCU. I could not wait to get out of the tiny town I live in and back into the city. I loved buying tons of new stuff for my dorm. Pictures, bedding, school supplies, and millions of other things began to pile up in the guest room. Soon all that stuff would be in my dorm. I moved in the day after everyone else did because my parents could not take me the day I was supposed to go. On the ride to TCU I was excited and nervous. I was mostly nervous because I had not met or talked to my roommate yet. That was definitely my biggest concern. We got to my dorm, I met my RA, and she walked me to my room. I opened my door and there were about 5 people in my room. I briefly met my roommate and then they all left so I could move in. Moving in was a long process. We had to loft my bed and figuring out where everything goes is like a huge puzzle. I hung up pictures on the hospital looking walls, and was satisfied with how it looked even though it wa so tiny.

I let them do most of the work :)

Dad testing out my tall bed.



Finally finished!

When my room was all done it was time for my parents to leave. Of course my mom was crying, but who could blame her because I am her favorite firstborn. After they left I didnt know what to do. It felt weird being here. After sitting in my room for awhile, I realized that I didnt know anyone here. It seemed like everyone in my hall already knew each other and everyone had friends already. The next few days were not how I pictured them to be at all. We had to do a lot of freshman meeting stuff, which was awkward and weird. The first week of school was when I started freaking out. Meeting people was alot harder than I thought. I would say hi to someone and we would talk for a few minutes and then the next time I saw them, they would look away real fast. And the thing about it was that everyone did it. Everyone I met made it seem like they had never talked to me before. It was even worse in my dorm. I would meet some girls 3 or 4 times and then they would still act like they had no idea who I was when I said hi to them.
Here's when things got really tough for me. I felt like no one wanted to be my friend because everyone already had their friends. My hall was full of crazy, loud sorority girls. These people were not the Christian people I thought I was going to be going to school with. Everything was different here. If youre not in a sorority, youre not cool. If you dont go out and party every night, youre not cool. I did not fit in here. Not at all. I missed my friends. I missed my boyfriend. Cue the stress and anxiety.

Having no friends was my biggest stressor, along with the actual school part of college. The classes were different, the teachers seemed to not care, and everything was a million times harder. I struggled in all my classes. The tests got the best of me everytime and I was close to failing one class. Towards the middle of the semester I started feeling like I was dumb. I did not deserve to be at this university with all of these smart people. I couldn't keep up in my classes. I pretty much felt like a failure. I wanted to quit school. I wanted to move back home. I wanted my boyfriend to give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to give up on everything. I wanted to transfer. I was not happy. But I did not let anyone else around me know that except for my family. I ended up passing all my classes. I went home for Christmas break and I did not want to come back for spring semester. But I did.

The second semster was so much better than the first. I had a few friends, and my classes were waaaay easier. My anxiety level was low, which was good. I had gotten adjusted to not seeing Zachary all the time, so things were a little easier. I had a lot more fun second semester than I did the first. I gave up on trying to be friends with people that did not want anything to do with me. I ignored the sorority girls, and I didnt take it personally when someone I had met looked away when I smiled at them. I had a few good friends in all of my classes and Chloe became my best friend. We did everything together and always ate at the nasty BLUU together. She helped me through alot even though she has no idea. Second semester flew by faster than the first, and before I knew it, it was finals time again.

Finals week was a lot less stressful this time around, which I am very thankful for. Packing all my stuff up at the end of the year was even more difficult than moving it in. I do not know how I fit that much stuff in that tiny little room. Saying goodbye to my friends was alot harder than I thought it was going to be. I dont have a ton of friends-but I have a few really close ones and that is good enough for me. My grades were better this semester. When it was time to leave for the summer, I realized I really did love TCU. I love the school, the area that it is in, and everything that surrounds it. I was going to be sad to be moving back to boring Ponder. I cant believe I made it through everything that I did. During my first few months here, I never thought I would make it a full year at TCU. Some days I wasnt even sure if I would make it to the next day. But I made it. I completed my first year of college with a little less than a 3.5 GPA and I cannot wait for sophomore year.

GO FROGS! :)